Cube Think - Family vs. Job

It's About Priorities

By: Kerri Brimmer
Posted: Monday, February 6, 2012

It is an amazing challenge running through the family’s hectic morning routine and then getting to work every day. It’s difficult again to sever the flow on projects at work and head home. Then trying to continue with the needs and demands at home after a full work day. Somehow, someway, everything works out. And we get up and do it again.

As a parent of young or school-age children, routines are precarious. Scattered showers of doctor and dentist appointments, jury duty, calls from the school nurse and furnace repairs pop up unexpectedly. The only thing you can count on within your schedule is change How do you deal with the constant needs of the family while still earning points with the boss? Planning, dedication and flexibility. Here are some tricks and techniques that may help:

1. Plan personal days ahead for your family appointments, school parties, and school days off. If you have arrangements made in advance to attend the events that your children need you to attend, then work will be able to plan for your absence.

2. Build up brownie points ahead for those family emergencies by being focused, dedicated and on task at work. Remember that work owes you a paycheck in exchange for your productivity and dependability. Show your co-workers that you understand this with by being a steady performer. Then when you do have to leave for unplanned family needs, your co-workers will happily cover for you.

3. Flex. If you have to leave work early for a surprise child illness or appointment, work from home that evening when you normally watch TV. Or arrange to get to work early the next day. If possible, don’t sacrifice your children’s needs or work obligations. Trade in your free time instead. Can’t leave work or make up work? You need a clone. Who can cover for you?

4. Don’t try to harness a hurricane. That crazy after-school and work time is just that… crazy. Surrender that time to the kids needs, dinner and homework. If you have hopes of time to yourself, a workout, or some extra computer time, you will just be frustrated when the winds of family pull and push at you. Instead, when the storm calms and the children are occupied and fed, then find some time for yourself. (Folding laundry can be very peaceful!)

5. Find your “patch.” When I am having a really bad morning, overwhelmed with home, family and the weight of the world, I treat myself to a vanilla latte. Somehow, holding that warm cup, sipping and being quiet helps me calm down and focus on work. It is a treat to me. It’s not bad for the office either. And I am calm until the school nurse calls. In the evening, a glass of wine works, too.

6. Baby steps. During the crazy years of tending children or parents, set small goals. Let the big ones go and celebrate that you got the dishes and laundry caught up… for today. Tomorrow will be a different challenge.

7. Think about the activities your children are in that are running you all over town. Is this schedule working for your family? Kids do not have to be in every activity, club and class. One or two is plenty for most. Mostly, they want and need time with you, and hugs.

8. Turn off the TV and expect the kids to help with chores. No chores; No TV.

Still feel like you can’t give work AND family your all? Remind yourself that no one will remember in 20 years If your carpet got swept on schedule, if you sent store-bought cookies for the school party or if you used frozen foods for dinner, or if you climbed every rung of the corporate ladder. But your children will remember if you were there when they needed you. It’s about priorities.